Are you a victim of teen violence
 or do you know someone who is?

This girl was...she was shot to death by her boyfriend.
Someone who said he would 'take care of her'

Teen violence can result in serious injury, sometimes death, as in the case of Lisa. Like many young women, Lisa was looking for someone whom she could love and someone who would love her back.  She put her entire trust in this one person....a person other than herself.  Something so many young adults do today.

Teen violence including physical, emotional and sexual is a reality for many American teens. A reality many friends, siblings and parents are unaware of. Hopefully, this website will open some eyes, some hearts and help someone who is in desperate need of help.  When I first started studying teen abuse after Lisa's death, I had originally found that
One in five teens in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.

After further study, I have found this to be no longer true, in fact, the numbers have gotten worse...it is now
One in Three....so if a family has three children, one will be in an abusive relationship at one time in their teen lives.  

95% of the time, it is the boyfriend that abuses the girlfriend.

50–80% of teens have reported knowing others who were involved in violent relationships.

One in three women who are killed in the US are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.

25% of female homicide victims are between the ages of 14-24 years.

Young women, ages 16 to 24 years, experience the highest rates of relationship violence.

In America today, every 9 seconds a teenage girl is battered by someone whom she is in a relationship....that's 9,600 teenage girls a day!

Most girls like the 'bad boy', the boy that hurts, because he needs to be helped.  They think they can 'save' him, when what the girl needs is to 'save' herself.  It's ok to be thinking of yourself first.

Teens feel pressured by their peers to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, making them feel 'incomplete' if they don't.

Males get approval from their 'friends' for being 'the boss'.  They may be afraid they won't look 'man enough' if they don't 'behave' a certain way towards their girlfriend.
 
Being a victim of any type of violence is not your fault. Nothing you say, wear or do gives anyone the right to hurt you, physically or emotionally.
If you think you are in an abusive relationship, get help immediately. Don't keep your concerns to yourself, trust your instincts.  Always remember, anger is an emotion and so is love.......violence is a behavior!  Behaviors can be controlled.  Abuse is a behavior & so is controlled.
Abuse is a way of asserting power over another.

Ask yourself some simple questions: 

Do I know anyone in an abusive relationship? Have I done anything to help? 
What if someone I knew were killed by their abusive partner?.... How would you feel? 
Now...what if it was 'you' in that abusive relationship'? 
How do you expect or deserve to be treated?  Are you being treated this way?   If the answer is your no....then your relationship needs to be changed or ended.
The first step is to talk to someone you trust, this could be a friend, maybe your friend's parent, a  relative or even a teacher. Then take their advice…it may save your life.
                              *****
 Every teen is worth being LOVED properly!  
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National Teen Dating Violence Awareness
 and Prevention Week is always the first week in February. 
                           February 2-6, 2009.  

Go out & do something special this week to show teens you care!

Love Yourself First, You Are Worth it!
Don’t be a victim. Be SUCCESSFUL!




 
What are some signs of Teen Violence?
'If you answer "Yes" to any of these...you may be a victim of teen violence....

Does your partner....

Make you feel bad about yourself...
Make you feel ugly or insecure...
Prefer you to stay home while he/she goes out...
Cheat on you...
Tell you what to wear...
Have to be with you or know where you are at all times...
Want you to do something illegal...
Call you names or tell you your fat...
Belittle you in front of others, making you feel obsolete or stupid...
make you afraid of their temper...
Call or text you numerous times to know what you are doing or who you are with...
Ever hit, punch, kick, slap or push you...
Tell you it's your fault for 'their' anger...
Call you names, then say "I was just kidding", or "Your  too sensitive."...
Threaten to tell others of your secrets if you were to break up with them...
Make you feel guilty or threaten to commit suicide or hurt themselves if you were to break up with them...
Hide information from you (phone calls, etc.)...
Say your friends or family are against your relationship...
Get angry when you do something on your own...
Get jealous when you are around other people, especially of the opposite sex...
Wrongly or repeatedly accuse you of flirting or having sex with others...
Force you into sex...
Pressure you into having sex by making you feel guilty if you don't...
Pressure you into drugs or alcohol (these make you less inhibited, easier to control)...
Scare you or make you feel as if you can't be yourself while with them...
Not let you use birth control if your in a sexual relationship...
Scare you in general by being around them...

Are you secretive, ashamed, or hostile to your parents because of the relationship?

Anyone can be a victim of violence:   Girls are more likely to yell,  pinch, slap, scratch or kick.  Boys are more likely to injure girls or kill their partner out of anger...(This is called a crime of Passion!)

If you are answering "Yes" to several things and notice that this is YOUR behavior, YOU may be the abuser...please get the help you need now.

Call your local crisis center or any of the hotline numbers listed on the next page titled 'Helpful Hotlines'.
These numbers are for anyone who is in need of safety or anyone who needs to stop their behavior before it's too late.